It's been over a year.
Should I concede?
I recently had a colleague tell me that since I am a professional woman with young children...that I should "just give up" the things I do for myself...like the crafts I like...reading for pleasure...etc.
Give up? Really? I don't like that.
Yet, in many ways I have given up. I haven't written anything here. I haven't scrapbooked my youngest's first year (she's well over 2 now). My knitting projects have stalled. I haven't taken a class as I've wanted to...in dance or photography. I've abandoned most exercise...only occasionally have I escaped for a bike ride this past summer. I've barely read much of anything for pleasure...I think only 1 book cover-to-cover in the last year.
So what the hell am I doing?
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am a driven professional epidemiologist. I take on "extracurricular" activities to my demanding job. I'm writing manuscripts and a textbook. I teach epidemiology/data courses for 4 universities.
Oh yeah, and I'm the participatory mother of 3 active children and an equal partner in my marriage and the running of our household.
But even as I console my lack of personal growth with these justified distractions, I find myself wishing. I yearn to keep up with my friends in their own personal growth...I need to accomplish outside of professional milestones...I want to explore and grow in new ways.
So, no. I'm not going to give up. Not yet anyway. I just have to accept a slower rate of growth and revel in even my small achievements. This, of course, is the harder part.
3 comments:
Yay! So glad to see you back. I've missed you...BUT, you are far from stalled out. As you said, you spend your spare time writing, teaching...I can sew and read and blog because I don't work full time, have three kids, or teach and write:) You are amazing, and I don't know how you do it! By the way, I want to hear about Disney!
Thanks, Kellie! You are so supportive!
I echo Kellie--so glad to see you posting, and I enjoyed this post. Makes me think of our late-night discussions when you visited. Also, I think your colleague is dead wrong, and I feel bad for her if she believes that's how working moms need to be. Can a working mom keep up with ALL the hobbies she had pre-kids? Of course not, but there's no need to give up all the things that make us who we are, either. (You don't usually see working dads doing that...)
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